Jodie-Beth Galos, principal attorney at Galos & Associates, her Millerton, N.Y., law firm, said there are five indicators that a willing harassment intervention participant is likely to be successful after coaching:
• Empathy: Understanding why the other person felt violated. Emotional intelligence is designed to determine a person’s level of empathy.
• Not blaming others: Understanding why the other person didn’t deserve to be treated disrespectfully, no matter what his or her performance problem was. One of the simplest ways people can demonstrate this is via the 3Rs: repeat, restate and reflect. When a person makes a statement or raises an issue, the coach responds by repeating, “you don’t feel heard.” Restating, “So, you are saying you don’t feel heard.” Then reflecting, “It must be hard to come to work when you feel unheard and that important issues don’t get resolved.”
• Respect: Seeing how the behavior links to a broader way of viewing others. This is similarly manifested in behaviors like using the 3Rs.
• Accepting the cost: Knowing what the behavior change will mean in terms of emotional investment. For example, they understand if they don’t follow through on the agreed change, a promotion or possibly their job will disappear.
• Self-monitoring: Accepting what they will need to do differently and participating in scheduled check-ins to confirm it.